Fireproof by Hollis Shiloh

Author:Hollis Shiloh
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Spare Words Press
Published: 2014-03-01T00:00:00+00:00

We didn't talk about it anymore as time drew nearer for his wedding. The days grew longer and hotter and dryer.

There were a lot of fires in the city, so Levi had to work a lot. He got back smelling of smoke, glad to sit and have a beer and watch TV. He spent a lot of time with me, even as busy as the fire department was.

I had no AC in my shitty little apartment, so I sat out on the fire escape a lot to cool off. He came over when he could spare the time, and we dragged the tiny TV out there with us and watched ballgames while sitting on lawn chairs. Sometimes Lou sat on her fire escape and dragged on cigarettes and watched with us. She always wanted to touch Levi's arms. Hell, so did I.

But we were good. We were buds.

He was gentle with me, backing off on the teasing and laughing about shit. And he certainly didn't try to hook me up with anybody. So much for helping me lose my virginity. I was relieved, though I did go back to the bar a few times. I didn't kiss anybody or go to bed with anybody, but I had a couple drinks, a few dances, and some interesting conversations.

Weird to go to a bar just to talk, but sometimes it really helped.

I got to know Alex a little better. He acted like he was attracted to me, but seeing me dash out of the bar desperately shouting another man's name seemed to have been the clue he needed that there was nothing likely to happen between us, at least right now.

He was kind about it, just smiled and listened when I talked, and watched me with gentle eyes. And sometimes we danced, slow or fast. I got better at that. He laughed when I stepped on his feet by accident, but it was a gentle laugh. If there was anyone I should fall for, it was him: gay, interested, and handsome enough.

It's just that he wasn't Levi.

Watching the game with Levi, talking smack, doing anything or nothing together, meant more to me than anything else. Just like always.

Some days I felt like I was practically frying, from the inside and the outside. It was so hot, and the even hotter doing roofing. I practically lived on Gatorade. Plus, my fire was getting harder to control, either because of the weather or because I was stressed.

Almost every night, when it cooled down a little, I took to walking down to the riverside where there were always empty metal burn barrels. Mostly the homeless people didn't use them this time of year. Nights were warm enough without a fire. But there was always something around I could use to start a fire.

I'd put in newspapers, cardboard, broken skids, whatever I could find, and light it up with a touch. I always checked to be sure nobody was around, watching. If they were, I waited, or if I couldn't wait, I made it look like I was using matches.

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